I don’t feel I always get the person or professional respect I deserve.
People in the past seem to think I am a doormat. I play hard. I am nice in real life. People just take take take and I feel burnt out. I work hard. I’ve been brewing a lot about personal boundaries and I am trying to develop more assertive (but polite) ways of saying no – and it also avoids being used again too.
Today, I had to politely assert myself and put my foot down. I am being overloaded with work.
I like being kept busy but not at the cost of burn out – especially not before my wedding or non-work time in general.
I don’t want to be too tired after work and doing stuff on the weekend. I want to live life –not be fucked in the work balance scheme of things.
My current work situation is a bit weird. I work in a different small team from the B-Team are a group of 3 whom I previously did some filler work for. I work in a reasonable team and I get along with the team members; they let me do my thing and the work is organised (mostly). I know my role and I always tell my team members what I am doing. I have a great project – which is great for my experience and for my career. I want to use this opportunity to move up in the career ladder. I get mentored with an engaged team leader and I get to do different things. I have my fingers in the corporate pie and do corporate activities that managers would do. Which I love. It mixes up my computer work and makes the work day less boring (with the right meetings or presentations).
When I said previously I had work issues and had no one to talk to – I didn’t exactly mean these team members. I was referring to the B-Team and the Umbrella Team we all fall under. Is that the right word?
I also had to speak to my ex-boss and tell them I am absolutely miserable/would be looking for a new job at the time I was solely doing B-Team work. By talking to my ex-boss, I didn’t snitch or badmouth anyone – I simply laid out my feelings and desire to do better in my workplace. So I got cherry picked for a project. As a worker, employers might think you are replaceable, but each person is an asset with unique skills. Try having unique skills in a very large workplace. My unique skill isn’t something you can teach or get a piece paper in.
I got lumped with my own work and THEN I got asked “how would you *feel* about doing work for HC Boss and the B Team for a month?”
The answer internally, or on my blog, would be miserable. Not many people could get this chance (for a great project) or professional mentoring. I am positive and like challenges; but downgrading my skills is a fucking insult.
I am not clone-able. I am not an overt workaholic who will spend (unpaid) overtime doing extra work. I work set hours, set salary and I need to time manage ALL my work perfectly.
I have thankfully avoided working with the haphazard B-Team and HC Boss for a good few months. Which is fine, they don’t have their shit together, there is no method or organisation, they contradict each other and have a go at me when the work is “wrong” and they failed their corporation audit for alllll the same reasons above. Oh I also got told they have a high burnout/turnover rate with workers doing the work I was asked to do. What. A. Shocker.
Obviously, because I guard my real life and my privacy fearlessly – I can’t tell you their real names or what the work really is. But you get the idea from this blog post.
I don’t want to be “downgraded” from a good career boosting project – to help a team that a) don’t appreciate me b) treat me like a fucking working mule c) don’t have any sort of team togetherness. I am not going to publicly say no, blog my fucking disapproval yes, but tactfully I wrangled something which was win-win for me. Winning meant less B Team time.
While I just want to be busy and away from cliques and bullshit at work; I was never hired to solely help them with their work.
The person who lumped me with the work – a higher up who I will call Champagne Boss or Champers. From my personal witnessing of Champers, while they aren’t overtly “mean” as a boss – they aren’t attentive or thankful those staff members outside their clique. This being some members of the Fat Lady Lunch Group (I don’t know ANYTHING outside of work tasks about these people apart from the fact they only eat junk food and lunch/coffee break every day) & B Team. Champers spoils the favourites. Buys them coffees every week or will even do a champagne lunch on occasional Fridays (according to office gossip).
Did Champers ask their clique members or other staff members who were free and gossiping all over the office? No. They get to roam free and gossip to their hearts content. You had to ask the lowest paid member of staff; whose career you never bothered to ask about and the only time you did your “team catch up” – made me sit in a room (in what was SUPPOSED to be my lunch break) and show ZERO fucking interest in me. Gallivanting around playing favourites with staff and I never even got a hello, welcome or look in.
I hate bossy people. I hate shit higher ups. Champers has no idea about me or how I tick. Champers is the most hands-off boss – which is all good – UNTIL YOU START DUMPING ME WITH CRAP WHEN I AM BUSY. Like I have deadlines on my work. I do not have a spare month lying around at work to go fix your fucking beloved team’s lack of timekeeping. SO FUCKING UNFAIR.
I used to work above Champers – when I was under my ex-boss. Champers would constantly bitch, whine and second guess everything I did. For example, Champers would be away often and leave vague out of office messages up. Like contact XXXX for this and YYYY for this. So I contacted XXXX or YYYY one day – and then I get this bitchy message (Champers was out of office sending me emails by the way) “oh why did you email XXXX or YYYY about [this].” Because your fucking out of office message said so? “Oh.” I wouldn’t say it was total psychopath level, like the hags, where they were trying to get me in trouble and cc’ing everyone in the building. But it was some Mean Girls-esque bullshit.
^ current feels
I told HC Boss I was happy to help but need to focus on my priority projects with some time in between (like an hour a day) to help their team out, and thankfully (since finding out I am not a complete moron [only someone with a fucking postgraduate qualification]) has said this B-Team assistance will be short-term.