Mother in Law wants to go Live Near My Narcissistic Cut-Off Parents While On Holiday

SO has told me today that his family will be staying (when they come over for our wedding) in my parent’s city. The best and worst thing about Australia is the distance between cities.  SO’s family love Australian trips and doing activiites there. I think all Europeans (that I know) love Australian beaches.  But specifically staying or choosing to stay in an area where my parents appear to be active “good” citizens of the community is a little hmmm….. I am in 2 minds about this whole thing…At the end of the day, I’m an adult and I have to take the high road with whatever happens.


When SO told me about where his mother was going to be staying, we both had a few worse case scenarios. SO’s family are generally pretty easy to read and they are about social politeness (not so much when his mother and sister fight with me). It’s how my parents would react to a hypothetical confrontation which is the cause for concern.

My parents have 2 moods. “Charm Offensive” and “Ist-Behaviours”.  Quite often my parents pick fights with people and make culturally, disability handicaps, appearance, intelligence…you get the idea…  inappropriate comments (to people’s faces). Knowing my parents (and how narcissistic people tend to put a nice front for “outsiders”)  I think they would be nice and “charming” – as best as they can be for his parents.  Then again I also remember the violent and aggressive behaviours which I witnessed growing up and think if someone (like SO’s mother) got in their face then the mask would slip and the performance would be over.

I would hope that the holiday is simply a holiday – not some justice seeking bullshit which is going to end badly.  Outside of unsolicited contact or “bumping into each other”,  I have a feeling that she would give them a serve for their shit behaviour and then my parents would do something that embarrasses me/my reputation.

SO’s family can go back to Europe but I would be the one dealing with the aftermath of an explosive fight or having those 2 narcissistic assholes try to discredit me and cause extra stress before the wedding.

Do What You Want!

On the other hand, SO’s family are coming for a holiday and our wedding – they should be allowed to enjoy themselves wherever they want. I’m not petty like my parents and don’t dictate what people can/can’t do in their lives.

If SO’s family want to go to the city my parents live in. Small world though. Then let them go. Provided his mother (who is PISSED at my parents for refusing to attend the wedding) doesn’t go seeking out my parents and causing drama which we/I would have to fix when SO’s family are long gone. I have begrungingly come to terms with the fact I probably won’t see my parents again (I don’t pity or forgive them – I just want them out of my life and their toxic behaviour to go with them).