I’m trying to avoid my track record from past years; I usually have an average of one or two years before a loosely defined “friendship” ends. I’ve had ten to fifteen year high-school acquaintances (I won’t use the word friends in that context anymore) but they were absolutely using me for financial/professional benefits… so yeah that made me feeling fucking A!
I am feeling the pressure to fill my side of the church but also meeting new friends under 6 months. I am actually quite stressed out and worried I won’t be able to find anyone to be friends with (not just for the sake of wedding appearances but I would like to make more friends in general). I’ve not had much luck on the work front (never expected to make a work BFF though)…and I don’t get why any of those morons (in my “team”) have never had the braincells to offer me (a newbie) to sit with them. I was never introduced, never asked about myself and never made to feel welcome (my boss told me 5 minutes under working with them that someone else could do my job for me – before seeing me work or knowing about my excellent work rep).
Last year, I wanted to go out as a couple with SO but he was dealing with some personal issues and was pretty happy with the friends he already had… I felt at the time this was super unfair and I think that particular thought of being forced to find someone/anyone quickly is really high pressure. SO thinks I need to find an extra bridesmaid (since my ideal choice – a family member close to age in me – is unlikely to come to the wedding and is dicking me around in general with contact). I’ve said to SO since he is great at making friends, he can get up and help me too – finding out where I go wrong but I also need a confidence boost and a friend to help me out.
I’ve tried more meetup groups… I’ve had hit and miss luck. The first group I actually worked with one of the participants but I haven’t been to that group and I know the participant wasn’t at the meetings I didn’t go to (meet up tells you who attended and who didn’t). That group was specifically for shy people and was more male orientated. I didn’t feel like I 100% clicked with anyone – SO did come along to that one with me.
I also recently attended an all female group on the weekend (the last time I attended the other “big” all female group I ended up being sat on/my feet stood on and by the same rude bitch who told me “that the meet ups were only for her friends)…. Fucking rude cow.
This brunch was a lot better than past meetups – the participants were all of a similar age (but I by far was more “successful” and was the only professional worker in the group…which is a bit of a shock to me because I am not rich by any means at all…). I’m avoiding overly quiet types and those without means to fund their own outings/trips. Because I have a habit of helping out people which means I end up being used and miserable. I ended up speaking to a smaller group when the main group finished for the afternoon – I was speaking with 2 girls (one I got the feeling didn’t like me very much) and one of the girls was like “oh tell me more about xxxxxxxxxx” which is what my industry is and also had similar lifestyle goals in terms of gymming. I made an effort to speak and ask lots of questions…or tried to anyway which for me is hard…
After the evening, I private messaged the girl on meetup and said oh if you want to talk about xxxx – here’s my number! But I never heard back from the girl I was speaking with… *sigh* I think meetup also tells you when the person reads the message so that makes me feel worse! So with that… it’s back to the drawing board.