Elle’s Bridesmaids Experience

I’ve had a breezy run with my bridesmaids for the wedding. It’s so much easier to pick bridesmaids outfits BEFORE I pick my own dress!!!

My bridesmaids (so far until I either a) get in contact with someone from my family b) find a female friend ) are from SO’s family. I thought it would be a nice touch and considering I haven’t gotten along with one of SO’s siblings it would probably be a nice peace gesture. The girls were pretty excited about it all.

Both of them are tall and skinny (as skinny as I USED to be too!) which means they can wear almost anything. The taller girl apparently needs to avoid overly short dresses as they can make her slutty (according to SO’s sibling LOL). Some challenges for the bridesmaids outside of the hem length is probably budget and they won’t wear all the colours in my wedding colour scheme. I’m not so unreasonable that I’d force them to wear something they hate – unless they turned up in white then there would be a fight.

Luckily I am not wearing white… which is going to be a whoooole another blogpost because people have been bitching/commenting on why I refuse to wear white for my own wedding. 

I will be having 2 younger girls as my flower girls from my side of the family. Outside of my familial nemesis who is months apart in age from me – there are no appropriate family members of my age. And like hell I’d be in contact or ask the familial nemesis.

I originally wanted the same style dress (different colour) as the familal nemesis – but I didn’t want to be a copycat. My wedding and tastes are ‘royal’ and ‘colourful’ (I was also inspired by Gatsby) but with the price and the bridesmaids being on lower budgets – this didn’t happen.


A female family member of mine was trying to force me (earlier in the planning) to get the 2 younger girls as ‘junior bridesmaids’.  I think bridesmaids are close friends (around your age) and they have some relationship to the groom.  I’d feel the same about the groom party; like if I had a brother he’d be in that party. I don’t believe in junior bridesmaids and the girls aren’t close enough with me to warrant that status. I was annoyed about being forced to try and let a teenage cousin (who I’ve met twice) as a bridesmaid but I also don’t think it’s appropriate as I am not close to her either. I am thankfully being respected on the fact I don’t want to be told who or who won’t be in that party. As I mentioned, I’d like a female friend or a family member on my side to be the other bridesmaid.

In terms of outfits, the girls are pretty excited about the whole process and like my wedding theme. They’ve got a few things I really want out of the dresses in terms of colours (I like darker colours which I know will also make the bridesmaids look nice) and then the hair & makeup (also up my alley) has been selected.

The bridesmaids have simple instructions:

  • Don’t attract more attention with your dress than mine

  • Don’t wear the same colour as me

  • Wear something you like and can reuse again

  • Stick to the same colours but don’t have to be exactly matchy matchy

I think my instructions have been pretty well received and straight forward.

I am hoping the bridesmaids wear stuff like this:

I think we are going with revelry (who do custom bridesmaid dresses for cheap). Getting the bridesmaids on board with their outfits is the next step because ordering takes months ahead of the wedding.

The bridesmaid, SO’s sibling, I’ve previously had issues with, has been very engaged in the whole process and we talk back/forwards about the bridesmaid stuff. Eventually it may move onto other things but it is a civil relationship now.  SO’s mum/sister had issues with siblings’ partners so it’s not like a first if I was seriously disliked. I get brownie points for not being an asshole, being employed, not mooching off my SO, having my own life and generally not trapping SO.  The other sibling who is in the shit with my mother in law and their partner (mainly the partner) have their own issues….bu t I know now the acceptance issue isn’t just me.  Thankfully SO’s mother has been civil (not overly friendly) and not trying to break us up again (like she tried a few years ago) now.

They should be very lucky I am not going bridezilla or making them wear any of these fugly dresses: