I got caught out telling a naughty lie today and was randomly (and angrily called) by an older female family member about the lie.
There are some things you don’t share with family members, yet alone older and conservative family members and there is more to the story…
During my epic Australia Day hangover/drinking party with SO (also with another party animal family member and friends) we partied waaaay tooooo hard. Australians glorify drinking but the passing out, vomiting all over yourself, losing your clothes and puking on a white carpet in a nice house – is NOT a family sharing story. The family member has a complicated history with the Party Animal (doesn’t like their new spouse or the fact they got divorced)…and until recently wasn’t on speaking terms with the Party Animal.
I like to keep my business private and my family relationships independent (or tainted) by one person’s point of view. I was asked if I had seen my party animal family member…and I said no. Why would I be sharing the details of the night and potential conversations I was overly pissed when saying shit? I also didn’t know if they were on 100% talking terms…or to think that I’d go running around gossiping because I’m really evidently not into gossip.
This family member goes to church and doesn’t agree with drinking/excessive partying/excessive spending- and is very religious. Did I mention that already? So SO and I were having a weekend lunch and suddenly, out of the blue, I get this angry call from my relative.
My mother has a history of doing the same behaviour so it’s a case of waiting it out (and the whining and the bitching) and things will go on. My personal time is my business… it really had nothing to do with the female family member and had no bearing on my newer relationship with Party Animal. I also didn’t want to hear about “how ladies should behave” and “class” and hearing SO/Party Animal get into the shit when they found out about the vomiting and running around naked after having too much to drink. Or the day after lol…I ended up with no shirt and walked around near-naked to find a ride.
When I was on the phone, SO started freaking out when he heard his name being mentioned and I was keeping my cool. SO tends to over analyse these sorts of conversations/social interactions and thinks I dug myself a hole. Well, I don’t think fessing up to what we really got up to is the smartest idea ever. The family member would ask me questions I wouldn’t feel were appropriate (especially about the new spouse), SO would be asked about his role in all this and
It’s all about the Prisoner’s Dilemma; you should google the concept and know… like what I did – sometimes the best thing is to shut up and say nothing!
The prisoner’s dilemma game can be used as a model for many real world situations involving cooperative behaviour. In casual usage, the label “prisoner’s dilemma” may be applied to situations not strictly matching the formal criteria of the classic or iterative games: for instance, those in which two entities could gain important benefits from cooperating or suffer from the failure to do so, but find it merely difficult or expensive, not necessarily impossible, to coordinate their activities to achieve cooperation.