One thing I have noticed about wedding talk, everyone has an opinion about something you are planning on doing. Whether is family, friend or associate – there is always something that someone comments on – whether the comment is good/positive/bad/negative/constructive/beneficial. I am polite to all opinions (even if they stink), listen to the idea, repeat the idea and then I put it away never to be remembered again. LOL.
One thing I tell people is I am trying to buy a house (because they are sooo expensive in Australia so most young people – unless they have filthy rich parents or their own great jobs – have to save up a long time for a home) so I want to plan a cheap wedding for around 5k. Most people agree that SO and I have our heads on right (and realistic) – and a few people think that all I can get from that budget would be KFC buckets for the reception.
I think with some creative accounting and thinking, 5 thousand dollaroos is going to be achieved. SO has OK-ed going a little extra (mainly for reception/food/booze) if it is going to a good cause. Because I actually enjoy a good challenge – I WANT to keep it as close to 5k as possible. I still think you can have luxury (like I LOVE luxury things) but it needs to be CHOOSING the RIGHT things to splurge on.
For me those things are:
- Hair & Makeup
- Hiring an appropriate wedding dress which *I* won’t cringe in future photos.
At no stage do I want to feel hindsight bias towards any of the wedding choices or getting married (because marriage is the last step for us… it should be a happy time and something we BOTH want to do/enjoy). SO’s engagement with wedding talk is nearly zero as he has high job and postgraduate stress at the moment. It’s all good and all but I have waited two years to even bloody talk or acknowledge the engagement. Think about not being able celebrate the engagement (and lack of celebrating from the engagement or lack of engagement/proposal…) it is heartbreaking because I am a romantic person and sometimes I like attention.
I would like him to feel like he had choices and not be disengaged (or waste my time/our money and not actually want to get married this year). But I think SO doesn’t want hindsight bias either. “Oh I could have got my house if I didn’t spend the wedding money on this xyz.”
My parents even had an opinion on the guest list and now they are not welcome to come to the wedding (according to some of the women in my workplace this is very common – non-attendance that is – but not usually by the parents [I didn’t talk about my private life at work but just mentioned immediate family members won’t/refuse to attend]).
Most of my new co-workers were of the opinion that if there are people bitching about your guest list – they should be told where to go!