I think the saying money talks, bullshit walks is really appropriate in my current situation.
I am a firm believer in what you give/put out there to other people – is what will come back to you. Like SO has been pretty good to me (and a few other family members) – and I have been also very good to myself (like saving like crazy when I had money) etc… so those are the people I’d like to help out and others who did me wrong can GTFO.
One of the main things I hate about not having an income; is not being able to buy stuff I like (like nice outfits). The store is horrible but it is the only place where items of certain brands can be brought in and I don’t have to do afterpay (I can layby them). SO hates talking about laybys and shopping 😦 😦 But having these goals makes me want to work/get my goals back on track.
I am goal motivated. If it comes across as materialistic – so be it. I enjoy things and experiences and like splurging.
SO hates hearing about shopping so I now call the store (of assholes) “the store that shall not be named” lololo. I’m very clever, and witty in my own mind.
Gym Membership/Personal Trainer
I was talking to SO about my decision to change personal trainers when I am back at work (being unemployed and having other main priorities means luxuries like gym memberships and personal trainers have to be put aside…). There are a few reasons behind getting a new trainer – the main one is I would like to be a bit more disciplined with exercising (since I am eating pretty good while unemployed – and 95% of the time I eat very healthily with SO).
SO was telling me about someone (like me who is introverted) and was trying to get out there and push comfort boundaries. Which is how he viewed me trying to be outgoing to get a job (when I am very shy and don’t really care for chit chat gossip or bullshit). I would like to get behind someone like that. Not like take my money and fuck off sort of attitude. I think by not having that intrinsic motivation or what I feel is appropriate human courtesy means my money walks with me.
I don’t want to have a D & M or bitch over coffee. But a simple personable “how are you?” – in my opinion – was highly appropriate for how long I had been a client and how much money I paid the trainer.
I got a lousy text (a couple of weeks after the unemployment news) after 3k-10k in my trainer’s pocket and being one of their long term clients (including doing promotional writing stuff to invite other new customers). SO’s personal trainer, whom I like speaking to (and has that chatty personality) asked me in person how I was. I feel like that was a strong difference and how I felt I should be treated.
So those are my current feelings… I am hopeful that when more money comes in, then things will go back to normal (and I will probably save more of my wage so I won’t be stuck if I am forced into another bad situation – which I won’t but you never know what curveballs life can throw at you). Positive attitude ok!