When you’re with someone – it’s quite normal to have differing views about things. Having someone, who is an identical clone to you, would actually be my worst nightmare.
SO and I have our share of disagreements and differences over life topics but nothing that stops us from liking each other very much. One of our core differences is having a positive or optimistic attitude (me) about certain things vs. having anixous behaviours and stressing out all the time negatively (SO).
I don’t think stressing out about things is going to help your overall health in the long run and I’ve asked SO to send positive vibes out there. Not “we/you are doomed” FOREVER vibes. I already have enough problems verbalising when I am stressed/upset and most people comment I tend to function very well for a stressed out person – with some of my past blog entries in the last year you’ll know why.
Since I’ve had some really bad news recently (I will disclose what the news is later and it is a doozy) – SO’s nervous tendencies have magnified by 10000000000 x times. First of all I get 1000000000000000000000% why he feels the way he feels. He knows I am not to blame for what happened (I’m really not). However the consequences about this event/bad news are really hitting both of us very hard. This event has fucked up some of our life plans.
I am trying to stay positive and think about focusing on current goals. SO is all “we’re fucked” and I am going to run myself haggard doing xyz. I am not simpatico with SO running around to the point of exhaustion, throwing stupid ideas out there to overcome this problem (to make more money I’ll do xyz). This is the same guy who freaks out at airports about being searched, the same guy who rocks up to the airport 6 hours early because he doesn’t want to miss his flight and the same guy who starts having snappy attacks when he starts to run late because he thinks I am spending to much time on my appearance (although as someone who is chronically late like me to things – I find this one hilariously hypocritical).
In no way, shape or form is SO trying to be nasty or is this causing a fight between us.
The situation is bad. I know it’s bad. However, I believe the situation will become worse if it is long-term (more than a month). That’s what MY concern is. I just want to hit the ground running and sort the problem out. SO is upset (and entitled to be upset) about a really bad situation and this is how he reacts. Panicking and negatively. I also hope that my positive feelings about overcoming this issue will rub off onto him – but he says that is unlikely.
SO is the workhorse exmplified. He doesn’t like taking breaks, if he could work and sleep in the same spot I think he probably would and anytime something happens he constantly freaks/broods/continually over analyses it for days/months/years. With the position we are in – having me going “I am going to be doing this to get xyz” and his bad juju counteracting that of my positive short-term goal thinking. Like I think my problem is going to be fixed within the next month – SO agrees and then will make an upsetting.
I actually do believe in positive thinking. Maybe I have matured from my early blogging days. But I believe if you want something so bad – that you’re going to get it. It’s why I mainly ignore people who naysay about things in my life like studies, business or just general things. YOLO. Either way, I don’t believe in crap like the secret but portraying a certain look/energy/vibe is more likely to get people (in my current situation) to want to help you or engage with you. Listening to someone all depressed 24/7 isn’t opening up to new opportunities.
Now I’m not going to lie, I had a really low moment this week about my current situation. I feel like something/someone has gotten away with doing wrong to me.
Am I only thinking about revenge or on that person? No. I might be blogging about my feelings (or meltdown as SO politely put it) but I have so many other things going on in my life/in my head that I can’t sit down and think about this event all day. The money consequences shit me off more than the actual event itself. So when I was feeling really angry, SO tried his best (bless his heart) to do a positive pep talk. I know it’s not in his style. I also know brooding is perfectly normal if you need time to think. But I also think SO thinks that I am brooding more on this issue (with the problem) more than I actually have been. I have an action plan and all financials will resume as normal.
I am happy we are trying to support each other in our own way.